The Child Victim of a Narcissistic Personality Disordered Parent
For all the complaints most parents make about spoiled children, children really do have very little power over their parents. This is even more true in the case of a child with an NPD parent, since the child intimately knows the unpredictability, implied threats and intense rages that the parent demonstrates. The child learns early in life to 'duck and cover' by constantly appeasing the childish whims (that change with the breeze) of the NPD parent. The child becomes terrified that if they speak to anyone outside of the family about their very ill parent, no one will listen or believe them, since the NPD parent is a master of the 'false face' in public. Secondarily, the child is terrified that their complaint will get back to the NPD parent, and they will pay a high penalty for this.
The NPD parent affects intense fear in the child in one of several ways. First, they may tell the child that they have 'eyes and ears everywhere' and the child can hide nothing from them. One father of three little girls gave them necklaces that he told them they had to wear at all times, because he had special powers and could 'see' everything the children did through the necklaces. They were terrified to keep them on, and terrified to take them off. Another way that NPD parents incite fear is to make either vague or direct threats to the child that the parent will abandon them, or that the parent will not be able to live if the child is not compliant to the parent's will. Any child naturally loves http://www.kiva.org/lender/freepersonalitytest and wants to please their parent; NPD parents can never be pleased and the child is never good enough. Yet other NPD parents make it clear 'between the lines' that if the child should ever be disloyal to the parent, grave and dangerous things will happen, up to an including harming their non-NPD parent or the child themselves.
The child victims of NPD parents are simply there to supply the parent ego boosting reassurance; the parent needs the child to adore and agree with them always, something that the child gets very skilled at doing when in the presence of the parent. Away from the parent, these children are often depressed, anxious, and morose, as if they have simply given up on being a normal child. While some school counselors or coaches may notice that the child is having difficulty, they never suspect it is due to NPD abuse, especially if they know the child's NPD parent. Should the child tell the adult about the parent, the child will instantly be suspect as having some innate emotional or mental health problem; this plays right into the hands of the NPD parent when the school counselor calls for a meeting. The child is then caught in an impossible trap: the child gets diagnosed with the mental health problem.
The personality disordered parent can slip up sometimes, letting their real lack of character show. This might happen when the parent, intent on what they want, creates an embarrassing public scene with the child present. In fact, they will at times use their children as levers in public situations to get others to back down or give them what they want. The witnesses to such public rages will give in just to save the child the intense embarrassment that their parent is willing to put them through.
The child learns that they must set aside the things that are important to them or the things that they would like to do, because it is only what the NPD parent wants that counts. The parent always places their own desires and needs before the child, often cloaking this with the altruistic statement that the parent is just doing what is best for the child. The child has no real choice not to buy into their parent's plan for them, even if the child has no desire or any real talent for the activity that the parent is forcing them to do. Emotional blackmail is a given. On the other hand, some NPD parents will simply ignore any achievement that the child makes on their own, and may even belittle the achievement in private while taking full credit for the child's accomplishment in public, if the accomplishment reflects the NPD parent as parent of the year.
In private, NPD parents will present to the child as either over controlling, totally ignoring of the child, and angry at the child or overly kind, giving, and generous. These presentations can alternate in rapid fashion, leaving the child constantly emotionally 'off balance'. This is, in essence, a form of mind control and torture well known to survivors of POW camps. So the child is faced with a very narrow choice of how to respond to the NPD parent: they can choose to submit in total compliance (and so lose their identity), wait patiently until they turn eighteen and then get as far from the parent as possible and try and find healing, or through constant exposure and training become narcissistic adults themselves. The latter child may be treated like a 'little prince' or 'princess' by the parent, at the expense of any other siblings who have chosen a different path of coping.
The normal development of children dictates that they begin to individuate and differentiate as they grow, meaning that children blossom into their unique selves. This normal progress gains momentum as the child gets older. The NPD parent begins to be very uncomfortable when the child begins to assert their individuality or independence; the parent perceives this as betrayal, disloyalty, or disobedience. Children often realize their parent's illness fairly early in grade school when they have the chance to compare other children's parents to their own. As the child gets older, the stress in the family system grows to intolerable levels for the child.
Some NPD parents can develop a reputation in the community as at least 'difficult' and at worse be considered unpredictable and dangerous. NPD's may 'heat up' and can pose real danger in that they view their children (and ex) as possessions that they are privileged to 'dispose of' should they wish to do so. Many cases of domestic violence and murder can be trailed to an NPD individual.
How Kids Music Influences A Child's Personality Development
Among kids of the same age group and sometimes among the siblings, the personalities of the children vary considerably. The reason of such variation may be anything ranging from the socio-economic background to the environment the children are exposed to. However, it can be said that the way the kids are brought up has a great role in shaping their behavior. The child psychiatrists are of the view that the child personality development is immensely influenced by music. That is why personalized kids music has significantly been popular.
There are several different advantages for such type of customized music lyrics. However, one specialized feature of kids personalized music is that the CDs containing the customized songs are developed with the child's name being pronounced in it several times. The verses in these discs are selected keeping in mind the interest of the kids who are going to explore the world through the knowledge that they gain from the rhymes.
As the foundation of the kid's learning procedure has significant influence on their personality, the music for children with personal touches makes it a vital tool to develop their individuality. Hence, there is a growing awareness among the parents for such customized educational products.
Personalized Kids Music Improves Cognitive Behavior in Children
Studies have proved that listening to interesting songs can literally help the cognitive development in children. There is no doubt that music has a power to calm the mind and refresh it as well. It stimulates the cognitive function of the brain and touches the modalities that help the brain to process information.
Kids who are exposed to the world of knowledge through songs and rhymes are more likely to have developed cognitive behavior. The rhymes form one of the most relevant as well as meaningful processes of teaching the kids as well. The cognitive abilities of the children greatly influence the child personality development.
Kids Personalized CDs Influence Learning Ability and Creativity of the Children
Generally, the normal brain wave function of human being falls into the BETA category. But the ALPHA and THETA brain wave states of the brain are evoked by music that can enhance creativity as well as the memory of an individual. Therefore, many primary and play schools are paying greater attention to teach the students through songs.
These days, CDs are growing popular among teachers and parents as they are easier to teach the children in a melodious way. Learning through customized children's music is more effective than the traditional form of learning because the songs and rhymes are compatible for the children's brain and help shaping their personality.
Personalized Kids Music Help Psychological Development in the Kids
Of late, the modern science has come to know about the psychological influence of music on the human brain. The introduction of the verses to the education is due to the finding that they are able to touch the senses of the kids. Also, the psychological development from the very beginning of the learning is really important for child personality development.
Music has a universal language. The educational and development specialists are of the view that learning through music is more beneficial for the baby learners for it touches the senses of the kids. The customized rhymes and the songs are also more myers briggs tests interesting for the kids as the names prompted in the songs makes them feel special. But, the most important thing is the kids personalized CDs with customized popular rhymes are fundamental for the personality development of the children.
Massage Therapy Career And Personality Traits
In order to pursue a career in massage therapy, there are certain traits that one must have. Massage therapists have been found to have similar traits that are beneficial in the workforce. Alternative healing professionals in this field can provide their clients with a therapy that will help relieve pain and stress as well as help with a variety of other ailments. Personality traits that can help prospective massage therapists succeed include empathy, communication, physical stamina, and positive energy.
To succeed as a massage therapist there are certain personality and physical traits that can be helpful. Accredited schools and colleges can train those with the right traits for a professional career providing an alternative healing therapy. Therapists will need to be mentally and physically fit as well as have the desire to provide others with the chance to receive a non invasive treatment for their ailments. Some of the traits that have been found to be common in massage therapists are:
*Empathy
*Systemizing Skills
*Physical Stamina
*Good Hygiene
*Communication
Those with genuine empathy, good hygiene, good communication skills, and physical stamina make good therapists due to their ability to establish a comfortable and personable atmosphere with their clients, while providing the treatment that will help them heal.
By possessing certain personality traits such as being a caring person who likes to help others, prospective therapists can pursue a career in massage therapy, and other alternative healing fields. Being a good listener, friendly, outgoing, and able to share an intimate space in a professional matter, are some of the characteristics that massage therapists must have. Those who are interested can obtain the training that is also necessary in combination with the required traits for entrance into this career field. Career training is available at the certificate or associate degree level and will take six months to two years to complete.
Massage therapists must be able to stand for long periods of time and possess the career traits that are necessary to enter employment. Career traits can be obtained by receiving an accredited education from a school or college that offers massage therapy training. By studying in different modalities, physiology, meditation, technique and psychology courses, students will be able to gain the career traits they need to pursue employment in the field. Training for a professional career will allow those who have the desire to be able to work as massage therapists in spas, clinics, salons, cruise ships, hospitals, and other facilities.
Those who possess or wish to obtain the career and personality traits that are found in massage therapists can pursue the career of a lifetime by ensuring that they receive proper training by enrolling in an accredited massage therapy training program. Prospective therapists can obtain a quality higher education by ensuring that the program they choose to complete is accredited by an agency like the Commission on Massage Therapy Accreditation (COMTA).
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By: Renata McGee
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Renata McGee is a staff writer for PETAP.org. Locate the Best Massage Therapy Schools as well as many other Schools and Colleges at PETAP.org, your Partners in Education and Tuition Assistance Programs.
Career Counseling For Cpas: Personality Traits
A Certified Public Accountant can make great money, if he/she has the personality which excels as a CPA. First, let's look at a few job postings:
CPA job postings as of 4/21/2010 include:
1.Controller, CPA Insurance industry specialist strong in SEC. $170k 2.SEC Reporting Manager, promotable to Controller for biotech firm $130k 3.Accounting Manager. CPA needed for Fortune 500 client in San Francisco. $190k. What are the personality traits of CPAs? Are they different from accountants? YES! As you may know, researchers and career counselors will study anything, or any person if they will hold still long enough and so it is that researchers have studied the personality traits of accountants and CPAs.
To career counselors, workers are divided into https://dribbble.com/freepersonalitytest two very distinct, hardly ever overlapping sets of personality traits: *The emotionally intuitive are fascinated by the world of emotions and tend to be helpers. These people gravitate into careers as teachers, nurses, career counselors, nutritional counselors, members of the clergy, and psychologists. *The emotionally devoid are drawn into exactly the opposite types of jobs. They would rather live in a world exactly wrong and exactly right, in which there is no ambiguity. They flourish within specifically delineated parameters and relish clarity. They may either avoid emotions entirely or they will compartmentalize and intellectualize emotions into neatly packed boxes. These people are detail-oriented, systematic and very organized. Rarely do they react emotionally to any stimulus. These people gravitate towards careers in mathematics, accounting, computer science, and scientific research, which reinforce their organizational tendencies.
Carl Gustav Jung, the psychologist, saw the world of workers this way. He characterized an extrovert as someone who was comfortable with interacting with a world of people, pets, and things while an introvert was more comfortable exploring the world of ideas and concepts-which is where we would find most accountants.
Jung did researchers a favor by categorizing people this way:
Sensing Intuitive Organize sequentially Top down view of broad concepts Organize abstract concepts into a framework Like detail-oriented work Dislike detail-oriented work Thinking Feeling Logical, objective decisions Value-based decision-making Subjective decision-making process Consider how the decision will impact others
Researchers build on Jung's work by studying accounting students to see if they could correlate success in a particular area of accounting with a specific personality type.
In Nourayi and Cherry's 1993 research, they found they could predict academic success for Sensing individuals in a Tax, Auditing and Intermediate IT. It was clear that the Sensing students outperformed their Intuitive classmates.
Building on Jung's work, the Myers-Briggs Types Indicators Personality Test divides the world into 16 categories of people. Myers-Briggs defines four squares, typified by Extrovert (E), Sensing (S), Thinking (T), and Judging (J). As Myers-Briggs sees the world, everyone is a combination of these different traits and each person is designated by the letters in order of their importance to that person. According to Myers-Briggs, 6% of the population should neatly fall into each of the 16 personality grids. However, a phenomenal 25% of all accounting majors, according to Landry's 1996 study, fall into just one grid: ESTJ (Extrovert, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging)! This points to personality traits held in common.
Accounting students, it turns out, are fairly easy to categorize. In 2006, Bealing's research team corroborated Landry's findings by finding that 26.23% of the accounting majors they studied fell in the ESTJ category on the Myers-Briggs and they found that over 75% of all accounting majors fell into Jung's Sensing category because they organize data in a sequential manner!
The Federal government likes to categorize people as well. In 2002, the U.S. Department of the Interior created a list of job titles paired up with the 16 grids on the Myers-Briggs. Under ESTJ, the predominate personality trait set of accounting majors, these accounting job titles and others were clustered: Auditor, Budget Analyst, and Credit Analyst.
Guess what? CPAs do not follow in the personality trait footsteps of their accounting brethren. In fact, CPAs are quite different. Yes, accounting majors and accountants tend to be ESTJ but CPAs are ISTJ: Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging. This finding was confirmed in three separate studies conducted 11 years apart: Kreiser et al., 1990, Shackleton 1980, and Jacoby 1981.
Is it possible that an ISTJ accounting major is more likely to become a CPA? Could being ISTJ be an indicator of later success in becoming a CPA or earning a doctorate? YES! Several studies confirm this.
In 1997, Wolk and Nikolai studied undergraduate accounting majors and confirmed that they were predominantly ESTJ but accounting graduate students and faculty ----------
Could it be that ISTJ accounting students are more likely to become a CPA? Wolk and Nikolai (1997) found that while undergraduate accounting students were more likely to be ESTJ, accounting graduate students and faculty (like CPAs) were more likely to be ISTJ. Many of faculty studied became CPAs prior to earning their Ph.D. and entering the teaching field.
Keirsey.com (2003) delineated that ESTJ were the supervisor type and ISTJ were the inspector type. This confirms that CPAs, who are ISTJ, possessed the inspector type of personality.
In Schloemer and Schloemer 1997's study, they found that 61% of CPA partners tended towards intuition over sensing but only 20% of those at staff level do. Could that 20% of the staff become the CPA partners of the future?
There's another difference between accountants and CPAs: CPAs command higher salaries and have greater opportunities for upward mobility within an organization.
As an accountant, the career track which progresses upward at a faster rate is labeled "CPA." In many firms, you hit the ceiling and progress no further if you do not become a CPA. Progressing from being an accountant to becoming a CPA offers greater opportunities for promotion to management and higher salaries.
Personality test
The cube
The cube represents you. The size of the cube is your ego. The surface of the cube represents what is visibly observable about your personality, or maybe it is what you want others to think about you. If the cube has a specific texture(Marble, wood, etc.), determine the texture of the surface, for example, a marble surface is smooth and wood is rough.The surface could either be;
Smooth - You are a gentle person. You are careful not to hurt or make others feel uncomfortable. However, this does not mean you are a good person.
Rough - You are more straight-forward. You tend to be honest in everything you say, no matter what the reaction or what others would feel about this honesty, you don't really care.
If the surface is bumpy or spikey, you might actually have a hurtful attitude, or you like to criticize others or make others feel inferior to you.
Colors
The color of the cube is a more in-depth analysis of yourself. Each color can represent an emotion, or an entire personality altogether. However, these are the most common:
Red - You are physically active and enjoy experiencing things through your senses.
Yellow - You are sociable and pay close attention to your individuality.
Blue - You are intelligent and respect an individual's ideals.
Violet - You are intelligent with a small hint of perfectionism. You are also mysterious.
Grey - You are confident with yourself, calm, and tend to be more independent.
Black - You have a strong sense of individuality, independence, and you enjoy solitude.
White - You are independent and is self-reliant. You are simple and kind.
Others - Try to match the closest color you can. However, there are other personality tests involving colors available in the internet.
Special
On some cases, the physical characteristics of the cube is unique;
A cube with transparent surface means you tend to let others know how you feel on the inside. The confidence to show your introverted thoughts mean sincerity. You know that you are good inside, and that's what most people see as well.
A cube made out of water/ice means that you let external elements influence you completely. Meaning your personality is more sensitive to social pressure, relationships, and other environmental factors.
A hollow cube means that you put the majority of your concern on your outside appearance, leaving what's inside irrelevant. This does not mean that you have nothing to offer on the inside.
A metal/rock cube means you have solid integrity. Your personality is so strong that it cannot be bent or influenced by any external force. You are dominant and is consistent.
The ladder
The ladder represents your goals. The length of the ladder determines the scale of your goals, shorter ladders mean more simplistic goals. The location of the cube is also important. The distance of the ladder with the cube determines the focus and effort that you are currently investing on your goals. A ladder erected beside your cube means that you are currently putting your maximum effort and focus in order to achieve your goals.
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